Yup, I am making you nice people read my homework again.

I landed a gig writing a speech for a Facebook Live talk in the form of a  funny story from a nice woman’s business and the implied awesomeness of said business.

Trust me,. I will be subtle. I’m good at that. No, really!

Anyhow, tonight’s blog will begin with my first draft of said work.

First off, we have a rough and dirty outline of the anecdote :

1. Client calls and says they can’t get a hold of Director

2. Nicole calls Director

3. Director sounds drunk and/or on cough syrup – oh shit

4. Nicole calls client, says Director is sick, but she has all the relevant information and can do the job

5. Client is happy and another crisis is averted by…. the Virtual A-Team!

Those are the main beats. Simple enough story. Here’s my first stab at telling it :

So one morning the phone rings and it’s a client of ours who is freaking out because they can’t get a hold of the Director assigned to their task. 

That can’t be good, I thought, and called that Director myself. 

They answer the phone and I could tell right away that I was in trouble, because they sounded drunker than the proverbial skunk. 

I could almost smell it on their breath through the phone! I have my client on the other line and now I have to explain to them that the Director I assigned to them is far too drunk to do their job. 

Talk about an “oh shit!” moment. Right? 

Thinking fast, I told the client that their Director was “sick” – which was technically true, alcoholism IS a disease – but that I had all of the relevant information I needed to step in and do the job myself. 

The client was relieved and so was I. I mean, could you imagine what would have happened if I hadn’t been there? The client would have been SSOL – um, for you kids, that stands for Sweet Something Out Of Luck – and mission critical operations might have had to wait till a certain someone sobered up. 

Thank goodness that didn’t happen! 

But that’s just another day in the office for us here at Virtual A-Team. 

Hmmm. Not bad. Needs polish but I am going to get the client’s go-ahead first in case she looks at it and says “OH GOD NO!” and I need to start over.

This seems like it could be a fun gig. If the first one works out, the client plans on doing a series of these vids and that would mean a series of paydays for yours truly.

And I talked to the client via voice chat this afternoon, and she seems like a fun kind of person with a good sense of humor. She used to be a stage actress, so I already know she is probably at least somewhat “cool” by my standards.

We creative types have a certain wavelength in common. Even when our disciplines are as different as writing and acting.

It’s exactly like the wavelength I share with my fellow nerds. There’s a level of connection and commonality that goes deeper than merely having interests in common or liking the same sorts of things.

It’s like we’re the same kind of person. Like we all started from the same blueprint, or like a certain level of IQ naturally creates the same basic personality over and over.

Or maybe the personality creates the IQ. Hard to say.

I also have another gig. Someone wants me to help them develop their idea for a novelty/gag gift type product. I have no idea what the job will actually entail, seeing as I put a bunch of my ideas in the application, but we shall see.

It feels very good to have something productive to do. It’s so much better than killing time playing video games. I was really feeling the weight of all my free time lately. Getting back out there to freelance is a great idea.

Update : I had the same sort of panic attack near the end of my hour on Upwork today. Not entirely sure what is going on. I suppose it must be that everything I do on UpWork, even if I am just checking out the job listings, adds to my background anxiety level, and eventually that kettle boils over and I feel terrible, like I am going to die.

But I was ready this time. When the panic came, I just kept myself busy doing this n’ that and waited it out. And sure enough, the flood came and went and there I was, sodden and saddened but still there.

Take that, my depression/anxiety! I got proof positive that your predictions are bullshit today. I defied your panic and nothing terrible happened. I went through a bad patch, sure, but it was not the end of the world. I survived just fine.

And with my self esteemed boosted to boot!

That’s the pattern I want for my future. Let the black clouds of depression darken my sky and soak me with its cold, deadening rain. Go ahead and try to scare me with your thunder and lightning. Throw the whole special effects budget at me. I don’t care. I still won’t do what you want me to do.

I will just put up my umbrella, wait out the storm, and continue doing what I want to do when the clouds part and the sunshine returns.

I see through depression’s bullshit now. I see how it lies, exaggerates, distorts, misdirects, cheats, distracts, destroys, and deceives.

I know its game.

And I know that the world will not end if I defy it. I have felt the sunshine on my skin and it feels so good to finally thaw out from my long emotional winter and return to life.

And nothing will make me stop fighting for air, least of all failure. That’s one of depression’s dirtiest tricks : convincing you that if you falter even one tiny bit in your new commitment, that means you have failed and you should just give up.

Bullshit. One battle does not a war make. And some fights are worth fighting even if there is no chance of winning.

Better to go down swinging than to give up your pride in order to get it over with.

I see you now, depression.

And you have no power over me.

I will talk to you nice people again tomorrow.